For many different reasons, people in depression say to themselves:
My emotions are not important, relevant or welcome here.
If your primary way of dealing with difficulty emotions is to wall them off, you are at risk for depression.
Pushing your feelings away creates a gap between how you feel and how you show up.
The larger this gap, the more likely you are to experience depression.
Blocking off your feelings doesn’t change your feelings.
When hurt feelings are not addressed, they compile, cluster and churn within.
And then you miss the opportunity to use them for creating a different response – with yourself or with someone else.
This may leave you feeling tired, heavy, apathetic.
You may feel like you are weighed down. Like something unknown is sapping your energy.
These are symptoms of depression.
Dismissing feelings will NOT result in a different outcome.
Dismissing feelings will not change the future.
You can’t fix what’s wrong if you can’t talk about it.
You can’t move forward if you are unwilling to acknowledge what has happened and it’s impact on where you are now.
When you block your feelings, you are out of touch with what you want, need or enjoy
If you dismiss of your emotions, then how could you know what you want, need or enjoy?
Your emotions are needed to help you seek or ask for what would help you feel good.
Maybe there have been many times when you do know what you want and need BUT have stopped yourself from asking for it.
Afraid that you will be seen as selfish.
Or deciding that it’s easier to accommodate to someone else’s wants.
Continually putting other’s needs ahead of yours also makes you at risk for depression.
There are changes you can make to armor yourself from depression
1) Increase your awareness of your own feelings and let them to inform you.
2) Start expressing your wants, needs and preferences.
3) Begin to prioritize yourself and stop putting yourself last.
These steps will help you close the gap between how you feel and how you show up with others. And as you close that gap, your depression will lift.
These changes will also improve your relationship.
As you improve your awareness and acknowledgement of your emotions, you will feel more ease, trust and security in your relationship.
You will be able to talk about difficult issues with your partner, and feel confident and comfortable enough to do so.
You will feel more interest, intimacy and passion with your partner.
Therapy can help you make these changes and enjoy more connection in your relationship.
If you are ready to feel better and learn the skills for getting more of what you want and need, let me know and let’s work together.
Schedule a free consultation call or call (703) 485-5143.